Jenna Jeske

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! In honor of Mother's Day, I have decided to post a video. It is the story of a mother and her love for her baby - a baby someone told her she should have aborted in utero. He is a beautiful, smiling boy name Christian. She calls him, "The love of my life."

May God Bless all of the mothers out there today!

The Things We Carry In

05/09/2012

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On Monday night, my cute Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Henry, sat sleeping on my lap as I typed away on the computer. I went to pick him up when I felt something sharp in his armpit. The poor little guy had carried part of an evergreen tree inside with him and it was stuck in his fur. The morning before this happened, I noticed a wood tick in his eyebrow and notified my husband, who pulled it off and killed it with husbandly compassion so that I wouldn't have to touch it. In case you're thinking, "Dogs don't have eyebrows," I can assure you that mine does. He looks a bit like Groucho Marx on the average day. Oh the treasures of nature the dog drags into the house with him. As I sat looking at the green needled branch lying in front of me on my computer desk after I rescued Henry's armpit from it's grip, I felt God speaking to me about the things we carry in. Every day, we as humans interact with the outside world. Most days, we leave our house for work or activities or even just errands, and the world leaves it's mark on us as well. We return home and carry wordly treasures into our places of dwelling. Worldy treasures that affect the lives of our families as well. We carry in material possessions we purchase, we carry in debt, we carry in anger from frustrating situations, we carry in lust from wandering eyes, we carry in language we've absorbed at work or school, we carry in envy as we watched others throughout our day who have what we don't and want desperately, we carry in pride as we let our daily accomplishments and worldly success go to our head... the list is endless... and unfortunately, the things we carry in cannot be as easily removed from our lives as part of an evergreen tree branch ripped from a dog's armpit or a tick plucked out of an eyebrow.

The things we carry in are absorbed into our hearts and are often spewed out in hate towards family members. The things we carry in feed us lies and colour our perceptions about ourselves, each other, and the God who created all of us. The things we carry in should be left outside in the world and not allowed a place in our lives. We must guard our hearts, for God's Word says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (Proverbs 4:23, NIV). When we guard our hearts, we leave the things we carry in outside. We refuse to absorb them. We filter each situation through the eyes of our Lord and Saviour. We see it for what it is. We leave it there, we run from it, we put it down, or we pray for it or about it. In this way, we are a light in a world full of darkness, and we leave wordly treasures where they belong - out of our hearts, our places of dwelling, and our interactions with those closest to us.

What are the things you carry in, but wish to leave outside?

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$168.39

05/08/2012

From the beginning of this blog, I have practiced financial transparency in hopes that the debt free journey my husband and I are on will inspire others to pay down their debt as well. I wrote extensively about our finances when I first started this blog in this post http://www.jennajeske.com/1/post/2011/09/i-want-to-scream-were-debt-free.html. I want to kick our society's trend of keeping up with the Joneses in the face. It is ruining our financial, emotional, and spiritual health. It is causing us to seek after materalism instead of the God who created us. I wholeheartedly agree with Proverbs 22:7, which says, "...the borrower is slave to the lender" (NIV). Yet, I speak not with a spirit of condemnation. I speak with battle scars on a path marred by mistakes, tears, and redemption. Growing up in a wealthy area, I learned to seek hard after wealth, beauty, and status. As a result, debt followed. When I married my husband, our debt combined, and we struggled to make ends meet. We made financial mistake after mistake, and we had no idea how to budget. Then, we stumbled upon the wisdom of a man named, Dave Ramsey. Through his book, "The Total Money Makeover," Dave taught us how to do a paycheque allocation, draw up a realistic budget for our family, and how to live on a cash only, envelope system of managing our money. He also taught us how to follow his debt snowball plan for paying off all of our debt. I would like to say that our financial walk has been easy since then, but I would be a liar if I said that we haven't had any setbacks. We've had plenty. I am happy to report, however, that as of May 4, 2012, Andy's Manitoba Student Loan has a balance of $168.39. Praise God! In my original post detailing our finances on September 7, 2011, his loan had a balance of $2,292.45. We've come a long way, baby!

Above, Andy's actual note made while talking to someone at the Manitoba Student Loans call centre, and my comments afterwards

Soon we will be at a status of one student loan down, three to go. We will then be able to take the $68 per month we are paying towards this loan, and apply that to the loan with the next lowest balance, thus accelerating our debt snowball. If you are in debt, and feel like you are drowning financially, there is hope! Check out Dave Ramsey's website: www.daveramsey.com. He has plenty of resources to help you get back on track financially. No matter how far in debt you are, you can have peace again... check out the "We Did It" success stories on Dave's website for some inspiration:
http://www.daveramsey.com/articles/article-list/category/lifeandmoney_wedidit_user_generated/

Everything that we have financially is really God's, not ours, and we need to honor Him with our finances! I thank Him for the journey my husband and I have been on financially, and what we've learned over the past few years. May our story inspire others to honor Him financially as well.

What do you think about debt? Why?

Spousal Thanksgiving

05/01/2012

Marriage is tough for all of us at times, but going through tough seasons is not an excuse for any of us not to be thankful for our spouse. As human beings, we are all flawed, yet we all possess positive qualities as well. Today, I sit in gratitude as I ponder how I blessed I am that God gave me Andy as my husband. He is so very kind towards me, and actively seeks to love and cherish me every day - even on the bad days. He works so hard to provide for our family (that currently includes the two of us and the most lovable puppy dog I've ever had) - so much so that he worked 58 hours last week, taking overtime hours without complaint even though he was exhausted. He puts God first in his life, and challenges me to do the same, even when I'm struggling spiritually. He seeks to take care of me as well as he can, and is taking the day off work tomorrow to accompany me to Brandon for a doctor's appointment. I have always loved watching his love for all of God's creatures. He grew up on an acreage and cared for a wide variety of animals. He loves spending time with our dog Henry and treats him like he's a very important part of our family, which he definitely is. Andy looks past my bad qualities, bad days, and bad seasons. Sunday afternoon, I had a meltdown and cried loudly... you know, the kind of cry Oprah would have called an "ugly cry." He just held me, and never held it against me. He even has the sense of humor to joke about my bad days with me. We laughed last night about my meltdowns that occur once a month like clockwork, and then he told me that I'm only allowed to have one meltdown a month, and I'm not allowed to save them up and use them during other months. We got quite a good laugh out of that. Andy helps me out so much around the house. He loves to cook, and doesn't mind pitching in to help out around the kitchen when I feel like a break every once in a while. Andy is passionate about God, about family, about friends, about guitars, about roasting coffee, and about life in general. He's currently found a new passion in gardening vegetables that will help cut the cost of our grocery bills this summer. To my dismay one afternoon, I found a container full of dirt sitting on our windowsill marked, "spaghetti." I was going to lecture him about how you'd have to be an idiot to think you could grow spaghetti when I realized he was really growing spaghetti squash. He joked later on that he should have arranged some spaghetti strands sticking out of the dirt. Andy's willing to eat a mostly vegetarian diet, as I'm a vegetarian and don't know how to cook meat besides ground beef. It takes a special kind of man to be willing to do that! I love my husband so much, and fall deeper in love with him everyday.

Above - Andy on a camping trip we took to Cypress Hills to celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary

Are you thankful for your spouse? I challenge you to sit down in the next couple days and write a letter to your spouse telling them why you're thankful for them. Think of the reasons why you fell in love with your spouse, and remember the good qualities they possess. Bad times in marriage happen, but love is pressing on and showing compassion to your spouse even when you don't feel like it.

Why are you thankful for your spouse?

"To Feel This Vulnerable Means I'm Alive" - Brené Brown, Ph.D.

04/30/2012

People often comment on how open I am about my personal life. I've shocked many with my mental health story, and am unafraid to talk about grief, miscarriage, burnout, heartbreak, feeling unworthy, shame, fear, frustration, and other controversial topics. I do this because it helps other people open up as well. There are thousands, probably millions of people out there who feel alone in what they are going through. If hearing my story helps just one person feel not alone in what he or she is going through, then my vulnerability was worth it. http://www.jennajeske.com/1/post/2011/10/my-story-for-the-world-mental-health-day-blog-party.html
According to the Canadian Mental Health Association website, 1 in 5 Canadians will have a diagnosable mental illness in his or her lifetime. However, the research they've taken their statistics from is outdated. According to a 2007 report published by the Institute of Health Economics in Alberta entitled, "Mental Health Economic Statistics: In Your Pocket," the statistic is that 1 in 3 Canadians will have a diagnosable mental illness in his or her lifetime. With a statistic like this, every single person in this country will be directly affected by mental illness through having one or watching someone close to them walk through having one. Yet even though mental illness is extremely common, there is still stigma surrounding it. It is not socially acceptable to publicly admit to having a mental illness in a continent where striving for perfection is the norm. I'd like to buck the norm. Perfection doesn't exist.

In a TEDx talk appropriately entitled, "The Power of Vulnerability," Brené Brown, Ph.D. says, "To feel this vulnerable means I'm alive." Years ago, Brown started researching connection in humans, but through interviewing people and hearing their stories, she learned a lot about disconnection in the process. She found out that shame destroys connection. She says that shame is, "the fear of disconnection - is there something about me that if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection?" However she says, "in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen." This means that we need to be vulnerable. Brown goes on in her talk to say, "We live in a vulnerable world and one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability..." This is so true. It takes one trip outside in a day to encounter people who are desperately trying to numb their vulnerability in one way or another. Brown goes on to say, "We are the most in debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history." Ouch. I'm positive this statement could be applied to the current group of adults in Canada as well. Brown explains why this is when she says, "The problem is... that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You cannot say, 'Here's the bad stuff. Here's vulnerability, here's shame, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment. I don't want to feel these. I'm going to have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin.'" Wow. I think if all of us were honest with ourselves, we all latch on to something in order to numb our unpleasant emotions. There is a flaw in our tactics though. Brown says, "You can't numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects or emotions... so when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness, and then we are miserable and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable so we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin, and it becomes this dangerous cycle." How powerful is that. Brown goes on to say that addictions are not the only way we numb vulnerability. I'll let you watch the video and find out some of the other ways for yourself.

My point in writing this is to show you that vulnerability is good. Without vulnerability, we would never put ourselves on the line for love, work, health, but most importantly, God. Our relationship with the God who created us is the most important part of life. One of the ways in which Brown says we numb vulnerability is that we make certain the uncertain. She says we do this with religion, and in doing so, we remove the element of faith. While I am 100% sure that there is a God who created us, and that the only way to Heaven is through a relationship with Jesus who died of us on the cross, I am also 100% certain that we cannot put God in a box and remove the mystery surrounding his nature. He is bigger than any of us will ever be capable of understanding in this life. Removing this element of uncertainty puts us as humans in his place. God calls us to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable means authentically loving those around us and reaching out to them. Being vulnerable means sharing our hearts and baring our souls with safe people so that they feel comfortable with doing the same. This is why I will never stop being vulnerable with other people, even if it leaves me open to rejection and humiliation. All the rejection and humiliation in the world (and believe me, I've experienced a lot of it) is worth one person feeling acceptable and understanding God's love for them in spite of their imperfections. If in trying to obliterate vulnerability from our lives we also obliterate joy and gratitude, I will continue to echo Brown when she says, "To feel this vulnerable means I'm alive."

What is one way you've allowed yourself to be vulnerable?

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Works Cited
"Fast Facts: Mental Health/Mental Illness" on the Canadian Mental Health Association website: http://www.cmha.ca/bins/content_page.asp?cid=6-20-23-43

"Mental Health Economic Statistics: In Your Pocket" on the Institute of Health Economics website:
http://www.ihe.ca/documents/AMHB_Statistics_pktbk07_eng.pdf

YouTube video of a TEDxHouston talk entitled, "The Power of Vulnerability," by Brené Brown, Ph.D.: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o&feature=player_embedded

How to Be Your Own Health Advocate

04/25/2012

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 17. I thought my life was over and that my diagnosis was a death sentence. I'm now 27 years old and over the past 10 years, I've become an expert at weathering the good times and bad times of life and mental illness. One of the most important lessons I learned early on in living with my illness is that you have to be your own health advocate or you will get lost in the North American health care system. I say North American, because I have lived in both the U.S. and Canada and have learned to be my own advocate in both health care systems. If you are struggling with depression or other mental health issues such as anxiety, racing thoughts, insomnia, delusions, thoughts of suicide, etc., you should talk to a doctor. Talking to a doctor, however, isn't going to fix your situation overnight. It also may not be a pleasant experience for you. Not all doctors are adequately trained in dealing with mental health issues. Others simply do not want to take the time to properly listen to the concerns of a patient. Some may prescribe treatment you're not comfortable with. When I was 17, on psychiatrist was set on trying electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) on me in order to reduce my symptoms of depression. Luckily, because I was still a minor, he legally had to prove that no other treatments worked on me before he was allowed to try this. During electroconvulsive therapy, a series of electric shocks is administered to a patient's brain (triggering a mild seizure) while they are under an anesthetic. While some people say that this therapy works for them, I wasn't comfortable with it. In my opinion, it was dangerous, and I observed the serious memory loss it seemed to produce in other patients. Get a second or third opinion if need be, and whatever you do, do not give up until you find a doctor you can work well with who is willing to prescribe a treatment you are ok with. When I was living in the U.S., I saw several psychiatrists before I found one I was comfortable with. She took the time to get to know me as a person as well as a patient. I used to joke that with most psychiatrists, I felt like a file folder with a number on it. With many of them, I would walk into the room, they would talk to me for 2 minutes, and then they would slap a new prescription in my hand and send me on my way. I could have fit all of the bottles of prescription medication I was prescribed over the years in a giant box. I had severe side effects with many of them, but was determined not to give up until I found one I felt stable on. If you are struggling with serious mental health issues, medication may be necessary for you. Unfortunately, the field of psychiatry is not an exact science. Keep trying until you find what works for you. Also, do not be afraid to try alternative treatments (make sure to do your research on them). In the past, massage therapy and accupuncture have helped reduce my anxiety levels.

Below - Speak up for your health to get a gold star in health advocacy

Yesterday, I was pumped as I collected a saliva sample for a medical test that will determine if my hormones are out of balance. Hormones can play a huge part in depression and mood swings, and I was delighted to receive the recommendation of a friend a few weeks ago for a naturopahtic doctor who specializes in hormones. Yesterday morning around 8:35 am, I tried with all of my might to spit into a test tube for about 20 minutes. I needed to collect enough saliva for Rocky Mountain Analytical to test for 5 different hormones. I am guessing
that hormones have played a huge part in the two miscarriages I've had as well, although traditional medical doctors don't frequently test for hormone imbalances. In less than an hour, I have an appointment with my regular doctor for a routine physical and bloodwork recommended by my naturopathic doctor. I filled out a release form in order for her to be able to request the results of the blood test. If you are struggling with mental health or physical health issues, be your own advocate. Research your illness. Also research the
different causes of it and treatments for it. Find a doctor you work well with. Look outside the box for ways to help supplement your health - doing something as simple as exercising for 30 minutes three times a week, giving up caffeine, or cutting back your sugar intake can make a huge difference in your health depending on what you are struggling with. Most importantly, pray. There is a God who loves you. Ask Him to give you wisdom while seeking the doctor(s) and treatment(s) that will work best for you.

When have you been your own health advocate?

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To find out more information about Rocky Mountain Analytical, the tests they offer, or to find a practitioner near you, go to www.rmalab.com

Why Feeling Overwhelmed Can Be Good for You

04/24/2012

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I felt overwhelmed the other day to the point of crying. I was driving home on the highway from a town that is about 10 minutes away from our little town and the reality of my current place in life hit me. I grew up in Indiana, but my family traveled to a rural area in the prairies of Canada every summer for two weeks to visit family. I was born in the same prairie province, and was always Canadian at heart even though we had moved to Indiana when I was 5 years old. I spent my entire life wanting to live in this particular rural area, and 2 and 1/2 years ago, God blessed me with a husband who grew up here. On February 26th, after an intense time of both of us quitting our jobs in Regina, Saskatchewan and giving our 30-day notice to our apartment rental company we followed God into the unknown of a tiny rural town in another province. As I drove the other day looking over beautiful prairie fields and watching cattle and horses roam, I was so overcome with joy that tears welled up in my eyes. It took 27 years of my life, but God had brought me home (Heaven is my real home, but if I had to pick anywhere on Earth to live while I'm still alive, this rural area has always been where my heart was). The peace I feel here and the ways God has blessed us here have been amazing. The stress of the past three years of my life is beginning to melt away. Last night my husband said to me, "The woman I fell in love with is back." I learned to be content in the city, but I was so unhappy and stressed out there that I spent more time crying than smiling and struggled with perpetual anxiety. I laugh constantly here and my smile and the sparkle in my eyes have returned. I praise God with every part of my being as I think about what He has brought me through the past few years and how much He has blessed my husband and me.

Above - I love looking at the old grain elevators that are common in prairie towns in Canada.

Have you experienced a time in life during which you were overwhelmed with joy? Did you find your heart praising God while your eyes welled up with tears? If you said no to the first question, what are you currently grateful for? Even if you're going through a very difficult time right now, there is something in your life that God has blessed you with. A wise pastor told my husband and I that all growth happens in the valley. If you look outside and see mountains and valleys, where do the flowers grow? In the valley. Growth doesn't happen in life when we're standing high on the mountain top. The mountain top is for the view. Growth happens in the valleys. The past three years were riddled with difficultly for my husband and me, but we both grew tremendously through it all. I feel overwhelmed with joy and can appreciate where we are right now because of where we've been. If you're in a valley right now, I encourage you to write down 10 things that you currently appreciate about your life. Sit down and reflect on the ways God has blessed you. Let the feeling of joy come, and praise God for it. He loves you and wants to give you new life.

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So You're Not Perfect? God Loves YOU

04/20/2012

I have a past that's not pretty. I used to think that Christians were great, but that if they knew who I really was, they wouldn't like me. And, since God knew I was a "bad" person, why would He want a personal relationship with me? Then, I met a group of Christ followers who accepted me for who I was. I didn't understand why. I also didn't understand why the men in their group were so upstanding in their speech and actions. I figured they must be faking it. I waited and waited for them to tell dirty jokes or just plain act like total jerks, but they never did. It was mind boggling to me. There was something different about them. The women in the group were loving, honest, and full of light. I thought that surely they would be boring if they didn't party all the time. After all, what else is there for 19 year old women to do in a small college town? They were more fun than any party I'd ever been to, and they didn't need alcohol to be this way. They were life-giving instead of life-taking. I wanted to be like them. God started to change me. Not overnight - I still struggled with an addictive relationship all through University, but He began to work in my heart. Today, my life looks completely different from the way it used to. I love Jesus with my whole heart and want to follow Him all the days of my life.

Above - Back in the day before God changed me. Ok, I'm not old enough to have lived when this hairstyle was popular, and I may have used www.yearbookyourself.com to concoct this photo, but you get the idea.

You might have just read that and thought, wow, she's one of those Jesus freaks. She's been brainwashed. I'm here to say to you that God loves you. He loves you no matter what you've done in your life. If you haven't read much of the Bible, you may think that it's full of goody-two-shoes too holy for you people. Sorry to burst your bubble, but one of the main characters in the Bible was a murderer. Yep, that's right, and he wasn't just any murderer, he murdered Christians! His name was Saul, and he was part of a group that had a follower of God named Stephen stoned to death. Saul would go and hunt Christians down in order to have them arrested and executed for their beliefs. One day though, God reached out to Saul, and changed his heart.

God's Word says, "...Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who [believed in Christ], whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, 'Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?' 'Who are you, Lord?' Saul asked. 'I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,' he replied. 'Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.' The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind and did not eat or drink anything. In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, 'Ananias!' 'Yes, Lord,' he answered. The Lord told him, 'Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.' 'Lord,' Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.' But the Lord said to Ananias, 'Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.' Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, 'Brother Saul, the Lord--Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here--has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.' Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength" (Acts 9:1-19, NIV).

Do you know who this Saul became? I'm sure you might have heard of Paul - the great apostle who shared about Jesus with others on three missionary journeys and wrote portions of the New Testament. Yep, that's right, God took a murderer, struck him blind, healed him, gave him a new name, and blessed him to go out and share the love of Jesus with others. God loves you and wants to forgive you for whatever it is you've done in your life. He wants to take your life, change it for the better, and use it in a big way. If you would like to welcome Jesus into your heart, please pray the following prayer: Lord Jesus, I ask you into my heart as my personal Saviour. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I repent of the ways I have sinned against you. I want to live for you Lord. Thank you God for sending your son to die for me, so that I may have eternal life. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

When you think about God, how would you describe Him?

Have You Ever Been Canned?

04/18/2012

I hope your grandma didn't literally use you in a pickling recipe, but I am wondering if you've ever been canned? I haven't actually been fired from a job, although I've been feeling like a career loser lately. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, but haven't been able to find a career I am particularly interested in. This is not for lack of trying on my part. I've done it all from pizza maker to accounts receivable clerk to clothing store assistant manager to licensed insurance salesperson to barista to educational assistant (not in this particular order, and ok, some of these jobs were when I was a teenager). I've even been a Zamboni driver. I would have to say that I most enjoy working in an office and dealing with finances, although I still don't particulary love that as a career. I've hoped and prayed that God would give me the strong desire to be a nurse, hairdresser, teacher, counselor, or anything that requires additional education, would put me on a set career path, and would allow for career portability. He's been giving me the silent treatment. I've been so consumed lately with trying desperately to figure out my future career that I've been feeling pretty depressed about it. So depressed that my blog has been neglected, and to my avid readers, I apologize. I've started praying about what I should be doing with my life, and tonight, God answered me in a big way. I opened our MSN homepage and clicked on what looked like a story of Oprah getting fired. I was wondering how in the world she could've gotten fired recently since she has her own tv network. When the story opened up, it was actually a picture series entitled, "17 people who got fired before they became rich and famous: Termination papers enabled these people to explore their real callings in life." The 17 people included Oprah Winfrey, Walt Disney, Thomas Edison, and other successful creatives. They were free spirits who couldn't be put into a career box, and so am I. God spoke to me about my writing. My calling lies in writing. Jon Acuff has written on his website about how all of us should look at our past in order to find out what we were meant to do in this life. He also writes about how most of us make the mistake of looking to the future and thinking that if we just brainstorm enough, we will find some answer to the "What should I do with my life" question that we've never thought of before. Strangely enough, our question is almost never answered that way. If we look to the past instead, we will most likely find that we used to do what we were called to do and stopped for some reason. Maybe someone told us we were no good at it. Maybe we were pressured by someone we loved to be a teacher when we really wanted to be an accountant. Maybe what we were good at wasn't a subject in school and we were told to color inside the lines more and like Picasso less.

Above - photography - the other thing I was good at in the past and used to enjoy doing before life got the best of me. This picture features a Vegas show lounge in the MGM Grand. My husband and I stayed there for our honeymoon.

I am currently reading the autobiography of Susan Boyle, and in it, she writes about how she grew up loving to sing. Life threw her some curve balls along the way, but she is now a famous singer. As I look back over my past, I see how writing has always been something I used in order to accomplish certain goals. In grade 5, an essay I wrote won a contest, and my prize was having the opportunity to lay a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Washington, D.C. during a wreath ceremony. I was interviewed for the news that day as well. Another essay I wrote earned me a $10,000 academic scholarship to Ithaca in New York, but I later decided not to attend school there. Today, I spent a couple hours editing my sister's internship application for her. I've written numerous poems, and started working on a book. I was writing this blog 5 days a week. Then, God granted me the opportunity to be jobless and have more time to write. Yet what did I do? I became distracted and got depressed that I didn't have a career like other people my age. Fast forward through days of protesting not having a "normal" career and ignoring my blog as a result, and here I am... writing. Does your life fit into the career box? If it does, there is nothing wrong with that. Congratulations, us writers want to be you. If it doesn't, welcome to life being weird. In a caption under a photo of JK Rowling in "17 people who got fired before they became rich and famous," Alana Horowitz and Vivian Giang write, "JK Rowling worked as a secretary for the London office of Amnesty International, but she dreamed of being a writer. She secretly wrote stories on
her work computer and daydreamed about a wizard named Harry Potter. Her employers finally got fed up and gave her the boot." I don't have to tell you how successful she has become. Chances are, you probably already know and have heard about that wizard more times than you'd like to admit. The next time I feel like taking a nap or eating chips and queso to drown out feeling like a loser because I'm not a high-powered career person, I'm going to write. Who knows... maybe a book will be published under my name in the near future.

What is your gifting? Are you using it, or wasting time wishing you were something other than what you are?

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Works Cited
Check out the MSN photo series here:
http://money.ca.msn.com/savings-debt/gallery/17-people-who-got-fired-before-they-became-rich-and-famous

Check out Jon Acuff's post about finding your life's calling here:
http://www.jonacuff.com/blog/dream-backward-to-move-forward/